i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
operation harelip BJ is a go
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
