Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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