The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
