he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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