well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
