sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
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You. Win. At. Life.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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