I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
