who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
