Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
