bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
