Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
