Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Green mimosas i think yes
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
