Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
