your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
my shit smells like andre
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
