apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
