Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
