I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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