There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize