I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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