Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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