Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
