I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Bring me that man meat
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
