Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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