that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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