I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
