Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
