I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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