"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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