I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
