I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
