I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
