You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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