I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
