I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Randomize
