so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
