morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
