Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize