Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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