Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The uberlube is also flammable
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize