That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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