Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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