Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
