For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
