well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
