You're completely useless in the revolution.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
