god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
