we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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