you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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