How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
