And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
A+ Viking dick
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
