Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
