so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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