I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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