ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
