what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
