Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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