Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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