A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
