She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
