is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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