careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
