She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
