Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
